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Attitude reader and Zac Ephron fan says: 'I get banter all the time, but it's good banter'
Ben Rakestrow
Gay soldier back from Afghanistan talking about coming out
An openly gay soldier who has just returned from a tour of duty in Afghanistan has spoken about the acceptance and support he has received from his comrades, saying that since coming out to them a year ago he has been confronted with nothing more than harmless banter.
Trooper Ben Rakestrow, 21, of the 2nd Royal Tank Regiment, completed a six-month operational tour in Helmand province on Friday, and has received the highest praise from senior officers. In June he was in the convoy in which Lieutenant-Colonel Rupert Thorneloe and Trooper Joshua Hammond were killed. "I was right at the back, there was not a lot I could do. It was terrible," he told the Times.
Rakestrow, who had already come out to his family and close friends, decided to tell his fellow soldiers midway through a training exercise on Salisbury Plain, Wiltshire, after a night out with a friend who knew he was gay.
"The next morning I arrived for the exercise late, because we'd had a bit to drink," he said. "The lads all asked if we'd had any luck, then at least our late arrival would have been worth it. I just said, 'His name was Ryan'. Some of their faces dropped, and they asked if I was serious. They couldn't believe it."
"It was difficult to start with. I didn't know how they'd react," he said. But now he regards the decision as the best he'd ever made and said that his comrades, after some initial uncertainty, have treated him as an equal since he came out to them.
"I get banter from them all the time, but it's good banter," he said. "They all want to know about my life, they ask a lot of questions, you can imagine. I don't find it hard to talk about it."
Rakestrow, an Attitude reader whose pink quilt cover in the squadron's temporary digs is adorned with a picture of Zac Ephron, said he would be wary of starting a relationship with another soldier. "I always said I wouldn't let my personal life clash with my professional life. I've got to work with these guys every day."
He had some advice for other gay soldiers considering coming out. "I would tell guys to find a few close friends and confide in them. Talk about it with them and then, if you're confident, tell your mates. But the important thing is to tell them when it feels right."
Following the 2000 overturn of the ban on gay personnel serving in the armed forces, annual training is provided that covers issues of equality and diversity.
Spokesman for Task Force Helmand, Lieutenant-Colonel David Wakefield, said: "I know a number of openly gay people in the Army, men and women, and it is simply not an issue."
Gay rights campaigner Peter Tatchell said: "There are still pockets of homophobia but on the whole acceptance and support of lesbians and gays has been phenomenal and commendable. The military have gone way beyond merely lifting the ban. All three services now send large contingents to march at gay pride parades. None of the predicted dissention has occurred."
