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Gay news: He was 'tired of living a lie' and inspired by gay rugby player Gareth Thomas
Daniel Kowalski
Australian swimming champion comes out as gay
The Australian former Olympic swimmer Daniel Kowalski has come out as gay.
The 34-year-old, who won four Olympic medals, said he was "tired of living a lie" and was inspired to make his announcement after reading about Welsh rugby player Gareth Thomas, who came out in December.
Kowalski told Melbourne's Sunday Age that he was so moved by Thomas's story that he contacted the player. Their conversations left him feeling "excited and relieved" for Thomas but angry and jealous because "he was out and felt liberated and free".
He added: "And it really got me thinking that I could do that if I wanted to. I felt really compelled to do it because it's very tough to live a closeted existence."
It was not until 2006, more than three years after his swimming career ended, that Kowalski came out to his family and close friends, and he said yesterday that his denial may have affected his performance.
"Things pop in my head that make me realise that I clearly suppressed these thoughts of being gay ... because it was 'wrong', as a male it's 'wrong' but even more as an elite athlete.
"I always knew that I lacked confidence when I stood up on the blocks and I do wonder sometimes if that lack of confidence was fear - fear of not really knowing who I am.
"On the sporting side, I lost to some amazing champions, so I'm not for a second saying that this is the reason I didn't win. I often wonder if the lack of self-confidence and lack of identity in many ways held me back from reaching my potential."
Kowalski joins the very small number of elite Australian athletes who have come out, including retired New South Wales rugby league player Ian Roberts and Olympic medal-winning diver Matthew Mitcham.
The swimmer said that although he was not expecting more athletes to come out as a result of his announcement, he wanted them to know that they are "not alone", adding: "There will be hard times, but you surround yourself with great, supportive people who love you for you and you'll be OK."
Of his own future, he said: "I look for all the things straight people do. I want to fall in love and be happy and be proud of who I am."
